11 Aug PLUR Story: We Are All We Need by Transcender Alexandra Sifre
We Are All We Need
By Transcender: Alexandra Sifre
From the moment I discovered electronic music, I could feel the shift in my body and the shift in my life. I’m not exactly sure the moment when it started or even how, but all of a sudden my old high school ways of bumping dirty rap music in my car just wasn’t doing it for me anymore. I can’t remember where I heard it, but the instant I heard Benny Benassi’s “Illusion,” I knew rap and pop music were no longer for me.
My first experience was Kate Elsworth at LIV Miami then Sensation New York in 2012. Since then, I have averaged about a different “show” or experienced different DJs in different cities, venues, and clubs around the world about every other week or every three weeks.
Looking back on my life, I can’t even pinpoint a time when I was genuinely happy or even when the depression and acting out began. The typical teenage angst started very early on for me, when I was only 11-years-old. I remember being in sixth grade, getting harassed in the hallways by older girls who just decided not to like me for no reason. I would be followed and bullied out of pizza places and matinee movies with my friends whenever any of those girls were present. I started with cutting myself and counting calories, trying not to eat more than 500 a-day. When I failed and that stopped working, I would fall deeper into my angst and cut myself every single day. I started getting blackout drunk and letting people take advantage me. Any guy who showed me a bit of attention was allowed to touch me and make me temporarily feel better.
When I got to high school, I grew out of the self-mutilation, but in a new school, there were a new group of girls there to single me out. I would get tripped in the hallways, tripped in gym class, almost hit with a car on the sidewalk while riding my bike. When my parents would show up to pick me up from school, they too, would get yelled at about how much of a “slut” their daughter was. The only relief I found was in a new boyfriend at the age of 15. Having someone commit to me was a feeling I had never experienced before. After the honeymoon stage was over, it soon became a four-year downward spiral. Walls punched, chased out of the house, hiding behind trees not to be seen, pulling out a knife to protect myself, and going to the police station to file reports. Constantly being screamed at and told I was fat and unattractive while being cheated on the whole time.
The thing that broke the camel’s back was on July 4, 2008 when I was punched in the face with a closed fist in the middle of a party. I was picked up and thrown into a mirror and hit in the face so hard, there was blood on the walls. The only thing that saved me that night was the roommate who heard me scream, came out and broke up the fight. He called 911 and the ambulance transported me to Beth Israel Hospital for a catscan and stitches under my left eye. After four months of therapy and picking up and putting the pieces of my life back together at only 19, I found my next boyfriend who seemed to be a knight in shining armor, a breath of fresh air…. or, so I thought.
To read the full PLUR Story by Alexandra Sifre and to get even more exclusive content, then check out the magazine now. This article can be found in Issue 12 of EDM World Magazine! Download the app for free. Apple users click for access on your iPhone or iPad. Android users click for access here.